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Posts Tagged ‘humor’

Top 10 Reasons to Vote for Donald Trump

January 24, 2016 Leave a comment

10. He believes in religious freedom, and will protect us from Muslims
9. The fact that he’s chummy with the Clintons, means he can be bi-partisan
8. Sarah Palin endorsed him, so he has the support of conservatives
7. He’s a businessman – he knows economics
6. If a Supreme Court Justice rules against him, he can just fire them
5. He will bring back manufacturing jobs to the U.S., no matter the costs
4. Three words: Huge. Mexican. Wall.
3. He isn’t afraid to start a currency war with China to show them their place in the world
2. He can just use imminent domain to take back America from foreign companies
1. He can shoot first, and ask questions later – but still have tons of support

Compiled with the help of Trump supporters – their mountains of assumption, ignorance of the man’s past, and misunderstanding of how government works.

By Michael Vadon (Own work) [CC BY-SA 4.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0)%5D, via Wikimedia Commons

The Wendy Davis Playlist

January 21, 2014 1 comment

In honor of the bumpy road that the Wendy Davis campaign is currently traversing, and thanks to an idea that started on Tony Katz Tonight, I put together a short playlist for the Wendy Davis campaign – just something for them to listen to when the days get long, and their bogus narratives wear thin. So, with credit to Tony, PrairieDogSD, and the many others who frequent the most entertaining chat room, weekdays between 9pm and midnight, I give you, the WDPL. (links lead to YouTube videos)

  1. Maneater” by Hall & Oates (especially fitting after considering her divorce to her second husband was ONE day after he finished paying off her student loan debts)
  2. Lies” by Fleetwood Mac
  3. Oh No Not My Baby” by Aretha Franklin (In “honor” of her filibuster supporting abortions)
  4. Stupid Girl” by Cold
  5. New Low” by Middle Class Rut (“So many directions, I don’t know which way to go, I’m so busy doing nothing, I got nothing to show”)
  6. You Really Got Me” by the Kinks (interesting when considered from a supporter’s point of view)
  7. You Can’t Always Get What You Want” by the Rolling Stones (for her dubious past and her attempts to change it)
  8. Liar” by Rains (for either of her ex-husbands [the second filed for divorce citing ‘infidelity‘])
  9. Oh Daddy” by Fleetwood Mac (the second Fleetwood song, due to her father introducing her to her second husband, who was 13 years her senior)
  10. O Fortuna” by Carl Orff (if she should actually, somehow, win the Texas governor’s race)

So, there you have it – ten songs that fit her campaign for one reason or another. By title or lyric, there are so many more that would be applicable to this mess of a campaign, feel free to add your choices in the comments.

Wendy DavisUpdates: Folks are offering songs to the original playlist, and they are as follows:

Obamacare’s New Angle

November 20, 2013 Leave a comment
Kathleen Sebelius

Secretary Kathleen Sebelius

WASHINGTON (MU News) — Kathleen Sebelius visited a Miami hospital today, and shook hands with Obamacare navigators. The new photo-op’s aim was illustrating the number of people being helped by Obamacare, and to show how easy it was to sign up for the program.

However, what happened was that the site crashed while one lady was attempting to sign up for the program, and while the enrollee was speaking with Secretary Sebelius. The couple enrolling and at the mercy of the site remarked, “It’s OK – it’ll come back. It happens everyday.” Quickly trying to patch the situation, the Office of Health and Human Services revealed a “new” way to sign up for Obamacare, without even using the glitchy website.

At an HHS Obamacare program update, in Washington D.C., the agency introduced a man dressed in a jumpsuit as a new speaker for the department. He at first appeared nervous and out-of-place, but after shuffling some papers handed to him and being winked at by another man in a suit, seemed to compose himself and began to answer reporters’ questions.

How badly will this new program fair? Could HHS actually be any more incompetent? Read the rest of the satirical piece on The Constitution Club.

Bob Filner…Football star?

August 4, 2013 Leave a comment

Mayor Bob Despite the ongoing scandal, and legal battle faced by embattled San Diego mayor, Bob “Headlock” Filner, unnamed sources have confirmed that a few football teams are considering giving him a tryout. It is unknown what kind of contract they would offer him, but seeing as how voters are balking at paying for his legal defense, Filner may actually consider signing.

Scouts, speaking on conditions of anonymity, seemed to rave about Filner’s unique talents, and how they could benefit their teams.

Read the entire story on the Constitution Club.

Joe Biden Goes to Kindergarten

June 24, 2013 Leave a comment

CHICAGO (MU News) — Earlier Monday, Vice President Joe Biden visited a school in suburban Chicago, and spent the day with a kindergarten class. While the visit was originally scheduled to be a brief stop, at the opening of the year-round Bill Clinton School for Wayward Tots, VP Biden ended up spending the entire day with the children. Biden stayed so long, in fact, that he was nearly late for a dinner reception with business leaders and Chicago-area community organizers.

Joe goes to school

Joe Biden’s new favorite classroom

What kinds of trouble did Biden cause on his “educational field trip” today? Read the rest of the almost-news report here atThe Constitution Club

Obama’s SOTU: We Must, We Might, I Want

February 13, 2013 Leave a comment

“…and I want a fire truck, and a baseball glove, and a cowboy hat!”

So seemed to go President Obama’s State of the Union wish list. It sounded like Christmas with captive parents in the form of the Congress and a few Supreme Court Justices. Repeatedly, he went so far as to challenge Congress to pass bills, that he would immediately sign.

Interestingly, but hardly surprising to me, was the president’s line that the government should work for the many, not the few.

Why else was this State of the Union such a collassal waste of time for anyone who bothered watching it? Read more here for my thoughts and a few jabs…

http://www.conservativedailynews.com/2013/02/obamas-sotu-we-must-we-might-i-want/

Who’s got a bad case of the “gimmes”?